I didn’t go meet my friend in the Quarter for her birthday--which is today. It seemed fun. All her friends that were there are female. I love females. I really should have gone. I only ever started painting to impress females, back in high school. Technically, that’s a lie. My first two paintings were impressionist landscapes like this one, and I painted them when I was 16 at an all male high school. But after I got expelled and went to a public school with girls, I switched to portraits; girls asked me to paint them and I did. Most of my painting has always been a trick, to me. It was a way to trick people into liking me and thinking I had talent, and maybe depth. I don’t think it ever made anyone like me, but I fooled people into thinking I had some sort of talent with painting. This blog might finally prove them wrong. Can you imagine if I’d shown up to my friend’s birthday gathering with this hideous painting!? I can imagine people having to stifle laughter and hiding grimaces. This tree is awful. And I can't get that Phyllis Diller comment out of my head when I look at it now. It's pretty bad to be so offended by an insult I hurled at my own work. Also, did I mention that I’m feeling a little depressed?
July 17 and July 18
Why should I paint anything? It all sucks. Everything sucks. Stupid tree. It’s horrible to give someone a painting that you did. It’s like “here, I made this thing and I want you to display it in your house.” It’s very forward. This canvas is too big. I always use smaller canvases, what am I doing?
July 17 and July 18
Why should I paint anything? It all sucks. Everything sucks. Stupid tree. It’s horrible to give someone a painting that you did. It’s like “here, I made this thing and I want you to display it in your house.” It’s very forward. This canvas is too big. I always use smaller canvases, what am I doing?